October 5... Today my life began.
My parents do not know it yet, but it is I already.
And I am to be a girl.I shall have blonde hair
and blue eyes.Just about everything is settled.
October 19... Some say that I am not a
real person yet, that only my mother exists.
But I am a real person, just as a small crumb
of bread is yet truly bread. My mother is,
and I am.
October 25... My heart began to beat today
all by itself. From now on it shall gently
beat for the rest of my life without ever
stopping to rest. And after many years it
will tire it. It will stop, and then I shall die.
November 2... I am growing a bit
everyday. My arms and legs are
beginning to take shape. But I have
to wait a long time yet before these
legs will raise me to my mother's arms,
before these little arms will be able to
gather flowers and embrace my father.
November 12... Tiny fingers are
beginning to form on my hands. Funny
how small they are! I'll be able to stroke
my mother's hair with them.
November 20...It wasn't until today
that the doctor told mom that I am living
here under her heart. Oh, how happy she
must be! Are you happy, mom?
November 25...My mom and dad are
probably thinking about a name for me.
But they don't even know that I am a
little girl. I want to be called Kathy.
I am getting so big already.
December 10... My hair is growing.
It is smooth and bright and shiny.
I wonder what kind of hair mom has?
December 13... I am just about able
to see. It is dark around me. When mom
brings me into the world it will be full
of sunshine and flowers. But what I
want more than anything is to see
my mom. How do you look mom?
December 24... I wonder if mom
hears the whispering of my heart?
Some children come into the world
a little sick. But my heart is strong
and healthy. It beats evenly:
tup-tup tup-tup. You'll have a
healthy little daughter, mom!
December 28... Today my mother killed me.